You will peruse profiles and find a few women who aren’t posing in a bathroom with their stomachs exposed.You will look for things in common in their profile (they like Scrabble too! You will send them a note, carefully crafted to show interest and attention to detail. The next one will, but she spells “you” as “u” and you will let the conversation stall.
Discover how to write killer messages right away, and never get it wrong again.
Want to email that cute guy, but don’t know what to say? So you’re browsing on an online dating site and you’ve found a handful of interesting guys you wouldn’t mind knowing better.
With those, you will send a few messages back and forth before he invites you for a drink.
You will put on some mascara, plunge out into the snow, meet a stranger, and after an hour of slightly stilted conversation, he will grab the check.
Sometimes I send a “thanks but no thanks” to particularly sweet messages, but usually I’m so overwhelmed by the new things to read and the new choices in front of me that I ignore those nice guys too.
Basically, I act like an entitled jerk who can pull puppet strings and make Ok Cupid dance for me however I please. I don’t have to, and so I don’t make myself go through the scary exercise of asking for consideration and possibly being rejected or ignored.
Forbes Magazine Signing up for an online dating site and finding yourself facing constant rejection is a frustrating experience.
It's even worse if you're certain that all those cyber-strangers would see what a catch you are if they would just give you a chance to impress.
Maybe instead we can learn to treat each other as equal players of a very silly game that we all secretly take quite seriously. But it seems quite clear to me that we’re not there yet. I’m a feminist, sex-positive 21st century lady whose photos include me posing in a Rosie the Riveter Halloween costume.
I write about gender on the Internet for crying out loud!
Why do I not respond politely to every message, even the ones I’m not interested in? Once we make it out of the safe cocoon of the Internet and into the real world I’m better about aligning my actions with my values.